Robotic Vacuum Cleaners

Credit: Mark Heath/CartoonStock

On two occasions in the last few weeks, I have found myself on the receiving end of a sales pitch for a robotic vacuum cleaner. Not from anyone who actually sells them, mind you. Robovac companies really needn't employ salespeople. It only takes a three-minute conversation with someone who owns one to convince you that robotic vacuum cleaners have ushered in a domestic revolution not seen since the invention of the washing machine.    

I do understand the appeal. A robotic vacuum cleaner is the pinnacle of domestic help. It starts when it's told to, methodically cleans each room of the house, then puts itself away. Oh, and it doesn't charge an hourly rate. So, would I buy a Robovac? No, I wouldn't. And ninety-five percent of Robovac owners shouldn't have bought one either.

If someone has a disability or a health issue and can't manage a broom or vacuum cleaner themselves, they can go ahead and buy a Robovac. The device is designed for them. It is for people that need technology to help them maintain floor-cleaning independence. It is not for anyone perfectly capable of cleaning their house with devices they already own, but just can't be bothered using. It is most certainly not for someone under the age of forty that has just moved out of home and is weighing up which domestic appliances would cause the least disruption to their gaming schedule.*

Most people reading this are probably quiet environmentalists who have no intention of contributing to the environmental crisis by buying expensive cleaning devices they don't need. If that's you, there is no need to read any further. (Thank you for dropping by.)

Then again, you might be on the fence about it. Maybe you live with a pack of St. Bernard's. Perhaps someone told you Robovacs are more energy efficient than vacuum cleaners. You might also be trying to talk one of the climate killers in your life out of such a purchase. It could be that you simply want to improve the on-again, off-again relationship you have with your broom. Whatever the reason, if you are still here it means you might need a bit more prodding in the direction of the broom closet, so here are six reasons why you are better off not outsourcing your floor cleaning to a robot.

1. It's a house. Not Windsor Castle.

Houses don't take that long to vacuum. I know, I've lived in plenty of them. At the moment I live in a unit, which means in twenty-four minutes I can do a quick sweep of the fake floorboards three times a week then hoover the carpet on Saturday mornings. Most of my neighbours live in houses that are bigger than mine, but I don't think any of them would be required to drop down to part-time work in order to vacuum the whole house once a week.

I've vacuumed enough large share houses to know that the floor space of the average Australian home can be cleaned in under thirty minutes. Considerably less if one avoids entering the cluttered bedrooms of flatmates or teenagers (some rooms are just best avoided).

Is everyone so busy that they don't have half an hour to vacuum or sweep the floor themselves? I doubt it. The growing demand for Robovacs isn't because everyone's lives are unbearably hectic and exhausting. It's because the task of vacuuming seems arduous, dull, or overwhelming. (I.e. Far less enjoyable than watching another episode of The White Lotus.)

Sometimes we have to do things that are not particularly enjoyable. Anyone with a full-time job that involves interacting with other human beings should be well aware of this fact. At least the carpet will never send passive aggressive emails when nobody cleans it for a month.

Rather than go out and buy something new in order to avoid doing what is actually quite a simple task, the best thing is just to get on with it. It is the vacuum cleaner that does most of the hard work, after all. Nobody is asking you to drag all the carpets outside and beat them with a paddle for an hour.

2. Brooms burn more calories.

So do regular vacuum cleaners for that matter. The calories required to operate a robotic vacuum cleaner, on the other hand, are more on par with operating a television remote control.

Let's be honest, most Australians are eating quite a bit more than they are burning and a robotic vacuum cleaner is not going to assist with this caloric imbalance. Sweeping or vacuuming the floor burns calories. Quite a lot of them if you happen to live in a suburban mega-mansion.**

It also a very easy way for people to get a bit more activity into their sedentary lives. It doesn't even require leaving the house or turning off the television. Using a broom or a vacuum cleaner regularly might just help many people avoid a double bypass later. Well, more so than the gyms they attend so infrequently that every visit costs $168. It would be much cheaper to just cancel the gym membership and sweep the floor twice a week.

Cleaning doesn't look so bad when it doubles as a gym exemption pass, does it? 

3. Nobody needs more stuff.

Unless someone is moving out of Mum and Dad's house for the first time and weighing up the options for their first vacuum cleaner purchase, they probably already have one in the cupboard. Everyone I spoke to that had purchased a Robovac did, in fact, have both a well-functioning vacuum cleaner and a reliable-yet-forgotten-about broom. Their new robotic servant was just an optional extra.

Robotic vacuum cleaners might get rid of the dust, but they also add more clutter. Specifically, it is clutter that moves around of its own accord and tends to get stuck in other clutter. Instead of being a godsend to the messy and disorganised, Robovacs just remind people that they are messy and disorganised. It’s hard enough living in chaos; they don’t also need to be messy-house-shamed by a robotic vacuum cleaner.

Instead of buying a robot to navigate around piles of laundry, children's toys, pets, and the already over-filled house, most people would be better off getting rid of some of the stuff they already own. That way the mental effort needed to clean the house might not seem so overwhelming.

4. They cost a lot of money.

The world has become increasingly too expensive to live in and, even for those fortunate enough not to live paycheck to paycheck, buying a decent Robovac costs AUS$900 - $2,800.

Anyone that would be happy to pay $2,800 to avoid taking the vacuum cleaner out of the cupboard should probably review their general spending habits. Hopefully, most reasonable people will start looking at their $18 broom a little more fondly.

Now, some people might be thinking, "well, $900 is not a huge amount of money considering the time I would save." To those folks, I would first suggest doing a quick audit of all the stuff in your house. How much of it consists of appliances, shoes, clothing, creams and sporting gear that you bought thinking it would make your life better, but is now just taking up space?

And with all the stuff that did make your life easier and more efficient, are you using those additional hours to write a novel, volunteer at a wildlife shelter, teach low-income children to paint, or train for a marathon? If somebody can't be bothered sweeping the kitchen a couple of times a week, they're probably a little way off their first ironman event. It is more likely that most Robovac owners are using their newfound free time to watch more television and scroll further along their social media feeds. Is having an extra half hour a week on TwitTok really worth forking out a thousand dollars or more? (Nb. There is only one correct answer to that question.)

5. It's an energy waster.

Robovacs are often marketed as being more energy efficient than a normal vacuum cleaner. That might be the case if someone only plans on using their new robotic servant as often as they used their old Dyson. The trouble is that most vacuum cleaners probably only did a round of the house once a week (if they were lucky). Robovacs can be pre-set to come on every day. If someone is using their "energy efficient" Robovac much more often than they would a traditional vacuum cleaner, their electricity usage is more likely to go up than down.

In addition, research suggests that people who own robotic vacuum cleaners still use their regular vacuum cleaner to compensate for the cleaning weaknesses of the robot. This means that the Robovac is an addition to the household's carbon footprint, not a reduction.

6. A Robovac is not a solution for poor domestic habits.

Marketing for robotic vacuum cleaners tends to centre around good-looking people doing leisure activities in minimalist, spotless, modern homes. When purchasing one, people are not just purchasing a vacuum cleaner, they are purchasing the belief that this product will free up their time and enable them to live in a cleaner, calmer, clutter-free home (possibly with better looking people). In real houses, Robovacs tend to get stuck in piles of laundry or become disorientated in cluttered areas. (I.e. They simply serve as a reminder to the owners that their houses are messy, their lives are chaotic, and they should be doing a bit more tidying and a bit less television watching.)

Will owning a Robovac be enough to motivate people to keep their floors free of clutter? Maybe for some, but the sight of the Robovac will likely make most people feel just sufficiently irritated, overwhelmed and shamed that they eventually end up relegating their robotic pet it to its charging dock.

A regular vacuum cleaner or broom can't shame someone from the cupboard and, when it is taken out and used, the person doing the cleaning gets a mini workout. They also get the pride and satisfaction of looking around at their spotlessly clean house and knowing they are responsible for all its loveliness. It might not happen every day, but when it does it's bound to give them a better feeling than coming home to a house that's only kept clean through the superfluous burning of fossil fuels and robotic slave labour.  

***

Better Solutions

Instead of trying to resolve poor domestic habits by outsourcing to a robot, people should take some time to really consider whether their health, finances and self-esteem might be better off without it. The environment certainly would. If they have any common sense, they'll eventually come to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to give the broom and vacuum cleaner a second chance.

If you're still reading this, hopefully you are one of those people. You might now be reconsidering that Robovac purchase but are still not delighted by the prospect of using your broom. So, what do you do?

The first step is to have a think about what you could do each week that won't feel too overwhelming. Nobody should aim to clean the whole house if you haven't managed to do it consistently in the past. It'll never happen. Just start with one room — nothing that will take longer than five minutes — and set yourself a rule. For example, "Every Tuesday and Thursday night I am going to put the plates into the dishwasher then sweep the kitchen floor."

If you do that for a month it will start to feel easy and automatic and you can add something more. For example, "Every Wednesday night I am going to put the plates into the dishwasher then vacuum the living room floor." Again, make it a rule... but don't panic if you miss the odd Wednesday. Habits are what people do most of the time. If a quick Wednesday night drink after work turns into a five-hour bender, forget the vacuuming when you get home. Just focus on coordinating your legs into the right pyjama holes and not throwing up on the bedroom floor.

You don't need $2800 and a do-it-yourself vacuum cleaner to have a tidy home. All it takes is a broom, a quick and regular commitment, and a little bit of personal responsibility. If feeling smugly judgemental of Robovac owners helps, that’s fine too.

 The Quiet Environmentalist

Further Reading

Nicholls L. and Strengers Y., 'Robotic vacuum cleaners save energy? Raising cleanliness conventions and energy demand in Australian households with smart home technologies', Energy Research & Social Science, 50 (2019), 73-81 https://doi.org/10.1016/j.erss.2018.11.019

The cost of convenience: robot vacuums require more energy than you think | Yale Environment Review

*If that is you, please note: A Robovac is not a replacement for your mother vacuuming your bedroom every Saturday morning. If you want to demonstrate to your parents that you really are a fully functioning adult, buy a real vacuum cleaner and do it yourself.

**If both of your cats believe they are the supreme ruler of their own vast empire, downsizing would be a better option than a new Robovac.

Published 04 Feb 2024